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If You’re Gonna Call Me Codependent the Least You Could Do Is Look It up for Me and Tell Me What It Means

Communication is the key to a successful relationship. Without healthy, reciprocal communication every disagreement is at risk of turning into an argument. With poor communication, something as simple as conflicting definitions of the same word could escalate a disagreement into a full-blown fight. The point is, if you gotta problem, you need to tell me in plain English. If you’re gonna call me codependent the least you could do is look it up for me and tell me what it means.

Namecalling gets us nowhere, dummy. Especially when I don’t understand the name you called me.

Codependent? Just tell me what it means, please. Ugh fine fuck you, asshole. And no, I can’t “just look it up” because I don’t know our Wi-Fi password and you refuse to find it for me. You’re so withholding.

You need help. I’m going to schedule a couples counseling session as soon as you tell me the name of our insurance and what practices are in our network. And where’s my phone? Fuck, can we afford this? I haven’t had our bank login info since we made the account.

Please help me. I’m legit not asking for much. Seriously, you’d think an adult would have some basic life skills at this point but, hey, here we are. Is co-dependent a thing that has to do with taxes? I know you claim me as a dependent but that’s about as far as my tax knowledge goes since I let you do them once we got married.

Why won’t you tell me?! You don’t want to be an enabler? That’s not a bad thing! You can enable me with knowledge. But first, let’s get dinner. What’s the name of the place I like that has that really good thing with the sauce?