People of this bank listen up, ’cause I got something to say. The state of the world is chaotic right now. We’re all facing a lot of stressors, and it’s creating a mental health crisis. In times like these, it’s easy to let the negative thoughts win. Well, I’m here to tell you, fuck that noise. I don’t know who needs to hear this right now but I want you to know that you are brave, you are loved, and this is a fucking robbery.
I wanna see each and every one of your beautiful, luminous faces kissing the fucking dirt, now. I said now!
Perfect, I knew you guys could do it. Because you can do anything.
I’ll say it again, you can do anything. Take my friend Mr. bank teller over here. He could press that button under the counter and trip the silent alarm if he wanted to, but he won’t. Instead, he’s gonna open up those drawers, put the cash in the bag and then get down on the fucking ground with the rest of you kings and queens. Why? Because he wants to go home and see his family tonight. Because he is loved. And that’s beautiful.
I want you to know that we all get scared sometimes. Maybe you get scared before an important meeting. Maybe you get scared before a date. Maybe you’re scared because I’ve got enough rounds in this clip to blow a hole in each and every one of your beautiful faces so big your mom won’t be able to identify you. Guess what? Admitting that you’re afraid doesn’t make you weak! It makes you strong.
I’m seeing a lot of strength in this room right now.
We all know what failure feels like. We all know what it’s like to have things taken from us. We all know I’m taking those wallets, phones, and any jewelry, just throw that shit in this bag. Do you know what I can’t take? Your pride. Your self-worth. Your inner light. All the shit that makes you you.
I’m tired of all the negativity. I don’t want to see anybody being hard on themselves. I don’t wanna hear anyone talking down to themselves. I don’t wanna see anyone try to be a hero and do something stupid because I swear to fuck I will end you, and I don’t want to do that because you’re awesome.
I’m gonna go continue my journey now, but before I do, I wanna hear you all say “I am strong, I am capable, and I am deserving of love.” I want you to repeat that 100 times before you even think about getting up. Because if the sirens start blaring while I’m in earshot, I might just have to hit this here remote detonator and ruin everybody’s day. Namaste.