So Rick Rubin is producing your next album. Fantastic news! He’s a musical genius known for unconventional production methods such as transcendental snacking and recumbent unconscious listening. But how can you tell if he’s actively producing your album in a deep meditative trance or if he’s just sleepy after a big lunch?
Don’t worry, The Hard Times has got you covered! Please refer to our comprehensive guide below to help you identify the proper context clues and navigate this challenging scenario like a pro!
Did Rick just have lunch or a large snack?
If the answer is yes, chances are Rick is napping. If you are unsure, survey the area for clues (Are there crumbs in his beard? Is he using a half-eaten bag of Sun Chips as a pillow? Et cetera)
Is Rick wrapped in a blanket?
He’s probably sleeping. If you notice he’s brought his own blanket, he’s definitely sleeping. If it’s more of a throw blanket that was already on the couch, take note of the room’s temperature and use your best judgement.
Is the couch pushed all the way up to the mixing console?
He’s almost certainly producing. Don’t worry, he knows not to touch the faders.
Is Rick muttering, and if yes, what is he muttering?
Muttering is normally a good sign that Rick is semi-conscious or at the very least in a fugue-like state. However, it is essential to pay close attention to what he is muttering, as well. If it’s more along the lines of “Hell yeah” and “Now we’re getting somewhere”, he is almost certainly producing. However, if he’s saying stuff like “Nana, they don’t make shoes that small, it’s no use” he may very well be sleeping.
Are the lights turned off?
This is a tricky one. If the lights are turned off he could be sleeping or he might just be trying to set the vibe. Take note of the vibe. Is there a hookah in the room? Is he wearing a cool hat? Proceed with caution.
Is Rick hooked up to a CPAP machine?
He’s sleeping.
Overall he’s sleeping most of the time, but sometimes he’s producing, and in one very specific case he did both, producing Stadium Arcadium entirely in his sleep “Weekend At Bernies” style. We hope this informative guide has been helpful for aspiring musicians everywhere looking for Rick Rubin to take credit for their work.