When I look in the mirror, I didn’t always like what I see. Sure there are things to like, but none of those things are legs built for leaping from the top rope into an El Camino at Backlash or a smile with the ability to elicit both admiration and rage at the same time. So after years of therapy and self-care, I can finally say I like who I see when I look in the mirror: A poster of WWE superstar Eddie Guerrero.
I don’t believe I am alone in this problem. Poor self-image affects people of all races, genders, and wrestling federations. In fact, I’ll bet if you’re honest with yourself, sometimes you look in the mirror and you don’t like who you see because you’re not looking at Eddie Guerrero.
True, honest self-reflection is difficult. And I want to be strong enough to do that. So here goes. I have never driven a low-rider down a ramp while my theme music announced the beginning of a title match with Dean Malenko. There, I admit it. Now the healing process can begin.
I don’t have the exact numbers on hand, but I’m pretty sure approximately one in five men and one in eight women want to be Eddie Guerrero. Unfortunately, every year, fewer than one in eight billion people actually become WWE Superstar Eddie Guerrero.
But there’s hope! There are steps you can take to help you like who you see in the mirror. Some of them include positive self-talk, mental hygiene, changes to diet and exercise, and a bunch of other hard stuff Oprah recommends. But all of these pale in comparison to just taping a poster of Eddie Guerrero to your mirror.
Everyone goes through periods of insecurity and everyone needs a pick-me-up every once in a while. But if you follow my advice, you’ll be feeling great in no time because you’ll be feeling like Eddie Guerrero. That is until you look in any other mirror and realize you’re just Perry Saturn.