Press "Enter" to skip to content

How I Ditched Everyone I’ve Ever Known and Loved To Make Over 9K in My Band Last Year!

I finally did it! I am now in the top one percent of financially successful musicians! So now I get to do what everyone does the instant they find success and prove my expertise with a “How To” blog! So if you too wish to earn at least nine thousand dollars in a single year as a musician, just follow my keys to success. I’ll give you step one for free: Ditch everyone you’ve ever known and loved!

It’s easy! Every time they invite you to some dinner or nephew’s baptism, you say, “Aw, I wish I could but I’m working on my music.” This not only allows you the time to work on your music but it subtly reminds them that your musical endeavors are the most important thing on planet Earth. And don’t worry. Over time, they’ll get the hint and stop calling.

They’re all just in your way! To make it in this industry you’ll have to give every waking moment to writing, rehearsing, playing a ton of shows, and documenting every second of it. I could understand them being mad at me for being completely consumed by some bullshit “civilian” job, but this is music! It’s not workaholism if it’s creative. On that note, it’s also not alcoholism if most of your yearly income comes in the form of drink tickets.

If they really want me in their lives, they can just follow me on Tik Tok like every other fan.

The only relationships I need are women who are willing to listen to me talk about my creative process and other musicians who I’ve never met in real life but we comment a string of fire emojis on each other’s posts. That’s real friendship.

If I would’ve known that cutting out every friend and family member was the key to success, I would’ve done it years ago! Nine thousand dollars a year! That’s almost five digits! Sure that salary broken down into an hourly wage is about $1.25 an hour, but it’s rounded out nicely with the spiritual fulfillment that comes from making dope tunes with my band. Well, until I ditch them to go solo.