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Hey Y’all, Who Remembers the Name of Their Elementary School, First Pet, and the Last Four Digits of Their Social Security Number?

What’s up, party people in the house tonight/tomorrow! Prepare for a blown mind in 3…2…1! BOOM! Studies show that people who can still remember the name of their elementary school live longer happier lives. Check it out by posting yours in the comments section below.

These aren’t just dumb regular studies, either. We’re talking MEDICAL studies! From hot #swol scientists who are also mad rich! Now let’s see that school name!

Those same studies also reveal that folks who can remember the name of street they grew up on also make way more money than the dum-dums they don’t like! Crazy, right?

Remembering personal information is actually an awesome way to keep your brain jacked. Your brain is a muscle and like any muscle, if you don’t use it, you lose it, chief! Do some squat thrusts with your headpiece, then post the last four digits of your social security number in the comments below – #swolmates4lyfe. The more numbers you can remember, the smarter you are! Can you remember eight digits? Then you’re twice as smart, Dr. Twice As Smart!

Related: Hell Yeah! My Credit Card Company Called to Say My Balance Is Outstanding


Want to know something else possessing much hilariousness? Your porn star name! You can generate one below very easily. Type the name of your childhood pet and the FIRST four digits of your social security number! Move over, Austin Powers, #amirite?! Shagadelic Baby Driver, Oh Beehive!

And if you get some cryptic texts from some number in the Ukraine, don’t think twice about it. I swear on all the oil in the mighty Prilukskoye that people who receive unsettling text messages from other countries also produce higher libido levels or something. You don’t need a dum-dum quiz or anything. I’ll be a мавпа’s uncle if I am lying to you in any way.

Peace out, DJ, My Best Friend!!!

Article by Mike Civins: @FamilyFunberg

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