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Help! I Started Smoking Weed but It Wasn’t a Gateway to Any Stronger Drugs

I’m a pretty trusting person. That’s why I listened to my guidance counselors and that cop from the D.A.R.E. program when they claimed marijuana was a gateway to more dangerous drugs. I took their advice, only to realize their warnings were a crock of shit! I smoked as much weed as I could find, yet it wasn’t a gateway to anything stronger. What a goddamn rip-off!

There’s no point in listening to your elders if they only use their wisdom to feed you falsehoods. I was so stoked to uncover some amazing new illicit substances, only to end up with no new vices. After getting high consistently every day for years, I’ve never even felt a little urge to try coke, crack, or smack. I felt like a total square.

Weed, as it turned out, was just a gateway to a relaxing way to spend my afternoons. Every once in a while I would drive through Skid Row just to see if I would be tempted to buy anything stronger from any of the dealers, but sadly that dragon just did not want to be chased.

If there are any kids out there looking for advice I would tell them to ignore those school officials intent on scaring them straight. Skip the ganja middleman altogether and go straight to the good stuff. Otherwise, you may end up like me: a lame normie who likes to smoke a little reefer after a hard day’s work and lives in a big house with his loving family. A complete loser.