Multiple sources from Seattle, Washington are now confirming that Tyler Porterfield, your old high school bully, is trapped in a loveless marriage with a woman who hates him. And who says fairy tale endings don’t happen!
“I’ll admit, I thought it was a little weird when Tyler and Mackenzie got married right out of college,” said Porterfield’s friend and former best man, Dylan Carpenter. “I mean Tyler always had that dawg in him. I remember thinking he must’ve gotten her knocked up or something. And sure enough, not six months after the wedding, they have their kid.”
Multiple sources close to the Porterfields reported that the man who once force-fed you a piece of rotten fruit, which earned you the nickname “taste tester” for four years, has been sighted getting into public passive aggressive arguments with his wife in public and at family functions.
“I had dinner with Mackenzie and Tyler about a month or so back,” said Allison Brooks, Mackenzie’s sister. “I remember they both seemed really angry with each other for no reason. It’s a real shame. Mac is such a nice girl. I wonder what she could have done to deserve this?”
Sources close to the couple also revealed that the man who once put a dog turd in your locker has even greater problems at home, with his hair loss, his fear of his mother, and his alleged drinking problem all frequent topics of his wife’s phone calls to her mother.
Sources close to the couple were also quick to add that their most catastrophic argument to date happened last winter during a photo session for the family Christmas cards, when Mackenzie made too many jokes about “small packages.”
So sleep well knowing that karma is doing its job to someone who most likely doesn’t even remember you.