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AMC to Boost Walking Dead Ratings by Putting Zombies in Skimpier Outfits

In an attempt to reverse waning interest and attract new viewers to The Walking Dead, the long-running series about walking zombies and the plucky survivors who outwalk them, AMC is reportedly outfitting the show’s titular horde of the undead in sleek, revealing outfits.

So say goodbye to all the “nasty, concealing corpse rags” according to AMC Network Executive Cynthia Eldridge. From now on fans can expect a little more skin — or bone, or organ, as the case may be.

HAWT.

The wardrobe update is designed to target younger viewers who haven’t yet associated carnal bloodlust with their burgeoning sexualities. And what better way to help parents explain their tween’s changing bodies than with a show the whole family can enjoy, especially DAD. Just kidding, moms.

Through strategic product integrations with brands like Juicy Couture and Bebe, the insatiable army of rotting remains will be decked out in the latest fashion, from flirty lace rompers to sleeveless bodysuits. Male-identifying zombies are expected to don Abercrombie & Fitch’s current line of slim fit activewear and, story-permitting, swimwear.

And let’s not forget about our body-positive zombies! Wait, they did? Nevermind.

Related: I Think a Woman Can Be Beautiful Without Makeup, Fancy Clothes, or Even a Pulse

 

Let’s hear what the fans have to say:

“Va-va-va-voom,” said series fan Seth Pompan via facebook. “I wouldn’t run from THOSE dead hotties. I mean, I don’t want to die, obviously, but also, yowza.”

@ZombiLord665plus1 tweeted, “I’m OK with it as long as it doesn’t interfere with the deep philosophical conundrums TWD is known for. Also, the humans should be nude more 2.”

Erotic fanfiction Tumblr blog Zom-bone6669 said “They ripped off my blog! I figured if they were going to model their show off a comic, they would have chose The Walking Dead.”

Despite concerns of the show possibly contributing to today’s climate of sexual objectification, millions are expected to tune in this Sunday to watch these empty husks of people lumbering around aimlessly for our enjoyment. And also for the sexy zombies.