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8 Delicious Christmas-themed Cocktails That Will Hide the Fact That One Is Poisoned and You’re Soon To Inherit the Baron’s Holdings

We all know the holidays can be a struggle to get through, so this year, make it easy on yourself and get a bit tipsy! Skip the boring beer and wine, a Christmas party deserves a fun, themed cocktail! Even if one holds the deadly, undetectable poison known as “versadinic” and you’re soon to inherit Baron Willowton’s entire holdings…

1. Tipsy Grinch

Ooh, you’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch! But this bright green cocktail made of equal parts creme de menthe, vodka and a dash of bitters, sure isn’t!

Of course, the Baron’s shiftless nephew Paulrick is known for his mean temper and might also have to be dealt with if he keeps snooping around the manor…

2. Eggnogtini

A boozy spin on a yuletide classic, simply mix 2 parts eggnog with cinnamon rum and a dash of nutmeg! It might not be a traditional martini, but traditions sometimes must be broken, especially since the Baron’s foolish new wife is nothing but an American divorcée, interfering in the family’s affairs.

3. Snickerdoodle Old-Fashioned

Nothing says “holiday” like the smell of cinnamon, orange and deep, oaky Kentucky Bourbon! That’s also the telling stench of Colonel Beaumont, the mysterious business associate of the Baron, who is visiting for the holidays and perhaps has seen too much, even in his inebriation. Perhaps.

4. Christinis

Another boozy spin on a yuletide classic, try this delicious blend of vanilla vodka and gingerbread-infused vermouth, finished with a roasted chestnut! The recipe came from François, the Baron’s longtime valet, who cannot be trusted, as he is nothing but a Québécois.

5. Nöel’s Fizz

Live the good life! Champagne, candied orange peel and a single macerated cranberry! But don’t let the bubbles go to your head and forget which beverage has the hidden versadinic. Remember, cousin Alistair from Kent-on-Symouth has his eyes on you.

6. Presents Under the Tree
Surprise! The presents are ice cubes and the tree is gin! This one is a favorite of Vladimir Illyavich Federov, the Smolenski wolfhound breeder who sees everything. Everything.

7. Red Ryder BB Guntini

You got it! A third boozy spin on a yuletide classic! Campari, sweet vermouth and a pinch of gunpowder gives this one a kick! Much like the Baron’s beloved foxhunts at his Willowton estate, where Uncle Bernard and his hot jazz records will no longer be welcome…

8. Santa’s Pleasure

And what a pleasure this concoction of blended Canadian Whisky, whipped cream and charcoal is! And it will soon to be a pleasure to have Willowton Manor all to oneself…soon…very soon…

Happy Holidays!