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5 Reasons Why Having a Basement Bedroom Is Basically the Same as Having Your Own Apartment, Baby

Having your own place is a luxury most millennials cannot afford. Between student loans and a competitive job market, owning a home or even renting your own apartment in your twenties borders on fantasy at this point. But fear not, millennial! I’m here to tell you that having a basement bedroom is almost exactly like having your own apartment, baby. So why don’t we get out of this Jamba Juice and head back to my place? No? Okay well just hear me out because…

1. It’s Got It’s Own Door

You can come and go as you please and it has its own lock. Just park in the street, walk up the driveway, open the fence, go to the back of the house, down the concrete steps, and there it is. Plus I’m the only one who has the key. Well my landlords also have a key but they promised to only use it in case of an emergency and to do laundry.

2. It Has Its Own Bathroom and Mini-Fridge

Ok, it is a half-bath and the sink doesn’t work but I put some hand sanitizer in there. The fridge is also filled to the brim with four beers and some pasta salad my landlord made. Not to mention that, as long as we put a towel under the door, we can smoke up. I don’t even bother hiding my bong.

3. I Pay Rent

My jerk landlord started charging me to live down here after I turned twenty-one. Two hundred bucks a month and that doesn’t even include Google Fiber! Aren’t landlords the worst? I really understand that Dead Kennedy’s song Let’s Lynch The Landlord now.

4. I Decorated It Myself

I went to IKEA for the furniture and Spencer Gift’s for the decor. Do you think someone’s mom would let someone have this many black lights? Not to mention a rather salacious Bettie Page poster. I even found a perfectly good couch on the side of the road.

5. I Have A Severe Cockroach Problem

The struggles of living on your own, am I right? Every first apartment has its creepy-crawlies. Unfortunately nothing seems to kill these guys. Not to mention the spiders, silverfish, ants, and centipedes. I wake up in the morning with bites all over my body. I guess that’s just all a part of adulting. LOL!

How do you feel about coming over now? Still no? Okay, how about your place? Oh, you live with your parents? Ew.