Look, learning guitar is hard. That’s just how it is. We know it’s not fair and you’ve been trying to nail down some punk classics on that Ibanez you bought nearly two decades ago, but we’re here to tell you that, sorry, it ain’t gonna happen. Anyway, here are five beginner punk songs that you’d be able to play by now if you had been born with even a modicum of musical talent.
The Ramones – Blitzkrieg Bop
This one could have just as easily been titled “My First Punk Song” based on the sheer volume of twelve-year-olds who have managed to master this three-chord beginner anthem. Sadly, this does not include yourself. You talentless, bad person.
Green Day – Longview
Seriously, there’s not even any guitar playing on like eighty percent of this song. But still, the last time you tried to play this one you broke every string and somehow managed to swallow your own pick. Just give up already.
Blink 182 – All the Small Things
Remember back when you first heard this song on the radio and you immediately started fantasizing about rocking those opening chords yourself on a sick ax while adoring fans cheered your every strum? And do you remember how for the last fifteen years you have failed to even marginally cover any part of this song while you sit alone in your darkened apartment with the same shitty guitar? Remember that? Plus, we bet you think this song is punk. Dork.
Nirvana – Smells Like Teen Spirit
Is this even really a punk song? Who gives a shit, you can’t play it anyway.
Social Distortion – Story of My Life
What in the hell were you even thinking trying this one? Sure, it’s three chords but it’s also like five minutes long and it’s got that whole fucking solo in there and everything. Tell you what. Go look at your reflection in that shitty guitar of yours and you ask yourself what the fuck is wrong with you for even trying to play this fucking song. And stop crying! Your parents were right. You should have taken up the bass.