V.F. Thompson, Author at HARDTIMES

January 11, 2022

EAST LANSING, Mich. — Reports show that despite the acid you took having kicked in only five minutes ago, you…

January 11, 2022

EAST LANSING, Mich. — Reports show that despite the acid you took having kicked in only five minutes ago, you…

December 19, 2021

Okay, look, listen up. I know I’m an anarchist, and that means that I reject any and all forms of…

December 3, 2021

KALAMAZOO, Mich. — Local punk Abigail Burton was forced to confront the ways her listening habits reflect her deeply pathetic…

November 3, 2021

KALAMAZOO, Mich. — The local police department issued a public service announcement this morning warning the populace to be aware…

October 28, 2021

KALAMAZOO, Mich. — A skeleton mistaken for a seasonal decoration at a local library is suspected to be an architectural…

September 25, 2021

KALAMAZOO, Mich. — Local venue Breezy Steve’s Beer Barn now requires attendees to show proof of showering before they enter…

August 11, 2021

Okay, listen up, snowflakes. There’s been a lot of talk about piercing guns, and how they’re “unsafe” and “put children…

August 9, 2021

Well, the only man busted us trying to make off with one of his precious Pall Malls, and true to…

June 17, 2020

Between the emotional eating and the prolonged periods of immobility, a lengthy depressive episode is a fast track to weight…