Every Earth Crisis Album Ranked Worst To Best
Street by street, block by block, for over thirty years Earth Crisis have sent wave after wave of crushing militant…
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Trevor Graham — Page 6
84 stories found
Punk Having Sex Thinks About Late-Era Black Flag to Last Longer
WARWICK, R.I. — Local punk Rich Stoklasa successfully delayed prematurely ejaculating during intercourse with his wife by thinking about every…
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Bogus! These Gen-Zers Think My ‘90s Slang Is Wiggedy Whack
Yo dawg, what’s the 411 with the shorties these days? I was just rolling with the homies and spittin’ mad…
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Death Metal Parents Put Son’s First Horrific Mutilated Corpse Drawing On Refrigerator
WRENTHAM, Mass. — Proud death metal fan parents Danica and Brandon Asheim were so excited about their five-year-old son’s first…
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40 Harry Potter Characters Ranked by How Likely They Formed a Black Metal Band and Burned Down a Church After Graduating From Hogwarts
At first glance, the whimsical world of Harry Potter may not seem like a place that would produce fans of…
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It Happened Again! Another Tinder Date Got an Emergency Call and Had To Leave While I Was Explaining the Circumstances That Led to Zack de la Rocha Leaving Inside Out To Form Rage Against the Machine
I can’t believe that this keeps happening! What are the odds that another Tinder date had to leave in the…
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Bummer! That Vegan Restaurant You Never Went To Closed Down
Ugh, what a bummer. That local vegan restaurant in my neighborhood closed down even though I always thought about going…
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George Santos Says He Plans to Return to Previous Job as Starting Forward for Denver Nuggets
WASHINGTON — Embattled Congressman George Santos says he is not worried about his future as a politician and that he…
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Gaping Hole in Life Momentarily Filled With Purchase of Band Shirt
TACOMA, Wash. — Local man Collin Pike very briefly filled the gaping hole of emptiness in his life by impulsively…
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Vegan Trick or Treater Asks if Anyone Is Going To Eat Their Smarties
COLUMBUS, Ohio — Local vegan child Jackson Lavigne asked his friends if anyone planned to eat the Smarties and that…
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