Report: Record Scratch Still Best Way To Know You Walked into Wrong Bar
NEW YORK — A groundbreaking new study from Columbia University seemingly proves that the sound of music abruptly ending with…
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Trevor Graham — Page 2
79 stories found
Local Man Enters Involuntary-Groan-While-Sitting-Down Phase
BIRMINGHAM, Ala. — Local 43-year-old Craig Peterson entered a new phase of life where he lets out an involuntary groan…
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Naive Man Puts Money Into 401(k) as if Future Exists
BENTONVILLE, Ark. — Local naive man Collin Blakeman blissfully contributed savings to his 401(k) despite the fact there is no…
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Opinion: The Thing I Love the Most About My Cybertruck Is How It Helped to Usher in the Most Embarrassing Authoritarian State the World Has Ever Seen
Oh man, have you seen my Cybertruck? It’s so fucking sick, dude. Just look at it. It’s like something straight…
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You’ve Heard of Elf on a Shelf but Have You Heard My Band’s Demo I Sent You Six Months Ago?
Well, it’s that magical time of the year again. It’s the holidays and all that capitalist bullshit that we used…
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20 Bad Brains Songs That Will Make You Forget About That One No One Wants To Talk About
The influence Bad Brains has had on the punk and hardcore scenes over the past four decades can’t be understated.…
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Nation’s Families Announce Plans to Sit Next to You at Restaurant While All Looking at Devices at Full Volume
MASSAPEQUA, N.Y. — Families with young children across the country announced their plans to find you in a restaurant and…
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Masked Militia Member Harassing Voters in Line at Polling Location Forgot Where He Parked His Squad Car
PEORIA, Ill. — A masked member of a local militia who was harassing people waiting in line to vote embarrassingly…
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Elder Abuse? These Friends Convinced Their 37-Year-Old Friend To Go to a Show
Recent clips of Frankie Valli performing at the age of 90 have reignited the conversation about elder abuse in this…
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Nation’s B-List Celebrities Announce Plans to Randomly Appear in Ad for Online Casino App
LOS ANGELES — B-list celebrities from every facet of the entertainment industry announced their plan to randomly appear in some…
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