LOS ANGELES — Singer/songwriter Belinda Carlisle officially retracted the eponymous claim of her 1987 hit “Heaven Is a Place on Earth” due to the myriad…
As a Republican, I was initially delighted by Trump’s “Big Beautiful Bill,” particularly with the cuts it made to the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP),…
MARSHFIELD, Wis. — Prolific serial killer Earl Hadley expressed hope that his crimes would at least inspire the lyrics to some metal songs after Netflix…
BUHL, Idaho — A book report on epic 1851 novel “Moby-Dick” by 10th grader Nick Henderson had clearly been written after having only listened to…
Oh man, we really need to do more research before we set up our interviews. To be fair, we are not huge nu-metalheads, but that’s…
Our thoughts on police officers are certainly no secret, and we always jump at the opportunity to discuss the subject with like-minded individuals. As such,…
WASHINGTON — Experts at the Department of Education (DoE) have issued a dire warning that further cuts to their institution could result in even more…
LOS ANGELES — Megadeth frontman Dave Mustaine suggested starting a “supergroup” with Metallica members James Hetfield, Lars Ulrich and Robert Trujillo, sources report. “I haven’t…
MOUNTAIN VIEW, Calif. — Summarizer Google AI Overview self-destructed after a search for “2024 election Texas” returned an image of Ted Cruz wearing jeans at…
TRENTON, N.J. — Black metal band Kald Syk completely humiliated themselves by playing a song about Satan after opener Speared Side had already covered the…
I still remember it to this day. I was sitting in homeroom, bored out of my fucking mind, when I heard my favorite band, Godsmack,…
DENVER — A devastating 12-1 loss incurred by the Colorado Rockies at the hands of the Milwaukee Brewers was completely overshadowed by the DJ playing…
Well, shit. Your favorite band is coming to Sturgis next week, and you’re not about to let Big Brother keep you from attending just because…
PUEBLO, Colo. — Metalhead James Kingor concluded that it’s just easier to let his family think he’s goth instead of constantly explaining the intricacies of…
Hey man, thanks for answering my Craigslist ad. The guys are super excited to jam with you. Just one thing, though: I may not have…