Why “Love Is a Battlefield” by Pat Benatar Justifies My Combat Veteran License Plate
Wait, do you have a problem with the way I’m driving, pal? I promise I looked before I merged right…
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Steve Packosky — Page 2
272 stories found
Looksmaxxing Metalhead Purposely Fractures His Cranial Bones To Reshape Skullet
MORGANTOWN, W.Va. — Metalhead and self-proclaimed looksmaxxer Owen Reynolds used a hammer to break several of his cranial bones in…
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As the Mayor of This Town That’s Outlawed Dancing, I’d Like To Clarify That Our View on Sodomy Is Surprisingly Progressive
Listen, bud. I don’t know how things are done in Chicago, where you’re from, but here in small-town Utah, we…
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Bullshit Romantic Comedy Drama Doesn’t Even Have ‘Solsbury Hill’ on the Soundtrack
LAS CRUCES, N.M. — Bullshit romantic comedy drama “Crazy on You” didn’t even have English musician Peter Gabriel’s 1977 debut…
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Pretty Neat! Here Are Five Canadian Metal Bands Who Don’t Have To Worry About Going Bankrupt From an Emergency Room Visit
Along with its publicly funded universal healthcare system, Canada has a long, storied history within metal music. As if having…
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We Interviewed Vertical Horizon While Thinking They Were Tonic, but It Didn’t Seem To Make Any Difference
Alright, we can’t possibly be blamed for this little snafu. Can you say that you’d be able to tell the…
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Tom Hanks Reveals His Character in ‘Saving Private Ryan’ Was Also a 13-Year-Old Who Had Wished To Be Big
LOS ANGELES — Actor Tom Hanks revealed that his character Captain John Miller in 1998 epic war film “Saving Private…
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Humiliated Man Wipes His Ass With Toilet Paper Like a Woman After Running Out of Dude Wipes
RICHMOND, Va. — Local man Bryce Carrick found himself humiliated after running out of Dude Wipes and being forced to…
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We Ranked Every Dream Theater Album Chronologically Because We Didn’t Want To Listen to Their Music
Dream Theater is a progressive metal band from Boston whose albums we have been told to rank, and let us…
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Quiz: Cannibal Corpse Song Title or Stephen Miller’s Pornhub Search History?
Cannibal Corpse is an awesome death metal band from Buffalo, New York, that made a name for themselves in the…
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