It’s an age-old question—if you had a time machine, would you go back in time and kill baby Hitler? To me, it was always a…
LONDON – Scott Devine and Ian Martin Allison wowed bass players across the globe with their new masterclass on how to shove a refrigerator-sized Ampeg…
You know what the worst part about being sober is? I’ll let you guess. Okay, answer time: the fact that I can’t get rip-roaring drunk…
NEW YORK – Members of Tomorrow’s Yesterday reluctantly confirmed that band leader Simon Martinez is absolutely 100 percent without a doubt sure that the 115th…
LOS ANGELES – Casual Tool fan Chris Miller is perplexing scientists around the world with his ability to listen to the progressive rock band without…
You know what really pisses me off? When some lifeless, faceless corporation uses the whole “we’re like a family” thing to sell their sense of…
I think fad diets are as stupid as the next guy, but not all fad diets are created equal. I’ve recently taken to eating an…
SACRAMENTO, Calif.— Deftones frontman Chino Moreno was recently discovered belting out various moans and screams into an oscillating fan while working on one of his…
BELLEVILLE, NJ — Financially savvy 38-year-old Scott Lawry revealed his secret to saving $50 is to spend several hours shopping at multiple grocery stores, confused…
MILWAUKEE — Local resident Stephen Calagna found a new and incredibly sad way to take part in Taco Night by slurping his way through the…
BOSTON – Local art major Tanner White is outraged by his equally privileged classmate Brent Saxon for flaunting his good fortune over those less privileged…
PITTSBURGH – Aging metalhead Derek Vance made the mistake of trying to slip into his wedding battle vest to celebrate his 25 year anniversary with…
Congratulations. You finally went viral! That cell phone video of you slipping in a puddle of Alfredo sauce at the grocery store took off so…
ANAHEIM, Calif. – Disney Adult and self-proclaimed “TikTok Foodie” Trisha McCormick knows where to get the best $45 chicken tenders at the price-gouging theme park,…
Help! I Read the Comments Section, and Now I’m Researching Charlemagne’s Military Tactics on Wikipedia So I Can Win an Argument With a Complete Stranger About Red 40
They say that “no good deed goes unpunished,” but I have another platitude to add to the mix: “no read comment goes unargued.” It all…