BLACKWELL, Okla. — Local man Darren McFadden was ready to take on his day after his Instagram algorithm fed him several consecutive Reels of horrific…
Listen up, weary renters! Are you bummed over the fact that you’ll never know the joy that comes with owning property and accumulating wealth as…
MOUNT KISCO, N.Y. — Veteran Recruiter Nina Masellis is ready to head home after a long, grueling day of indiscriminately emptying her inbox of qualified…
STOWE, Vt. — Party attendees are on high alert after learning that the acoustic guitar on the premises has been wired to detonate if a…
NASHVILLE — Veteran line cook Gerry Powell insisted on blaring music through his shattered iPhone 5 by placing it inside of a stainless steel cambro…
It’s an age-old question—if you had a time machine, would you go back in time and kill baby Hitler? To me, it was always a…
LONDON – Scott Devine and Ian Martin Allison wowed bass players across the globe with their new masterclass on how to shove a refrigerator-sized Ampeg…
You know what the worst part about being sober is? I’ll let you guess. Okay, answer time: the fact that I can’t get rip-roaring drunk…
NEW YORK – Members of Tomorrow’s Yesterday reluctantly confirmed that band leader Simon Martinez is absolutely 100 percent without a doubt sure that the 115th…
LOS ANGELES – Casual Tool fan Chris Miller is perplexing scientists around the world with his ability to listen to the progressive rock band without…
You know what really pisses me off? When some lifeless, faceless corporation uses the whole “we’re like a family” thing to sell their sense of…
I think fad diets are as stupid as the next guy, but not all fad diets are created equal. I’ve recently taken to eating an…
SACRAMENTO, Calif.— Deftones frontman Chino Moreno was recently discovered belting out various moans and screams into an oscillating fan while working on one of his…
BELLEVILLE, NJ — Financially savvy 38-year-old Scott Lawry revealed his secret to saving $50 is to spend several hours shopping at multiple grocery stores, confused…
Help! I Read the Comments Section, and Now I’m Researching Charlemagne’s Military Tactics on Wikipedia So I Can Win an Argument With a Complete Stranger About Red 40
They say that “no good deed goes unpunished,” but I have another platitude to add to the mix: “no read comment goes unargued.” It all…