NEW YORK — A new study from Columbia University revealed that millennials are still recovering from the trauma caused by the 1987 animated Disney film…
LOS ANGELES — Activision announced that the remake of Tony Hawk Pro Skater 3+4 will include a new playable character named Matt Fresh, who doesn’t…
LOS ANGELES — WeHo-based firearms enthusiast Dave Simpson recently saw a drastic uptick in popularity amongst his left-of-center friends, confirmed sources who just wanted to…
SIMSBURY, Conn. — Local straight edge high schoolers recently stated that their commitment to living a drug- and alcohol-free lifestyle will have no effect on…
WINDSOR, Conn — Local terrible cousin Terry Reynolds made everyone uncomfortable at his family’s annual Memorial Day BBQ by loudly declaring that “Woke is dead!”…
LAS VEGAS — The promoters for the buzzworthy music festival The Good Old Days are extremely excited for the amazing lineup to blow the minds…
PROVIDENCE, R.I. — A life-long fan of the political rock group Rage Against the Machine expressed outrage that the band’s politics had changed from how…
WASHINGTON — Democratic leadership announced their plans to play the 2013 Katy Perry song “Roar” very loud in response to the aggressive start of President…
BOSTON — Local 46-year-old musician Tim Reddy of the seminal one-person noise/grind collective 5CrpseFckPrty complained that you could no longer whip out your schlong on…
I don’t know all of my legal rights as a patient, but what I do know is that for a guy with one star on…