October 6, 2017
BEAUFORT, S.C.— Shantal Addams was shocked to find that several characters she created in the video game The Sims had…
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September 28, 2017
OTTAWA, Ontario — The Canadian Parliament passed a law yesterday requiring all citizens over the age of 18 to spend…
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September 20, 2017
HADDONFIELD, N.J. — 13-year-old “badass” Aiden Christian spent Saturday afternoon skateboarding with friends and spray-painting the anarchy symbol on the…
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September 19, 2017
NEW YORK — The legendary art-rock band the Velvet Underground eagerly anticipate the band's upcoming discovery by thousands of college freshmen…
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September 17, 2017
AUBURN HILLS, Mich. — Phish manager Coran Capshaw desperately pleaded with enthusiastic Phish fans last night to stop tapping on…
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September 15, 2017
I’m a very open-minded person. As such, my tastes and preferences are pretty wide-ranging. On any given day I could…
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August 23, 2017
WIDOWBRIAR — Video game protagonist Danaes has reportedly assured final boss the Hollowsplicer, Scourge of Xissan, that the many side quests…
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August 17, 2017
PHILADELPHIA — Local pet owner Dylan Murphy could not find a suitable adoptive home for his beloved pet cockatoo last…
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July 31, 2017
WASHINGTON — Newly hired White House Communications Director Anthony “The Mooch” Scaramucci was fired by President Trump today, after only…
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July 25, 2017
DETROIT — Self-described “loose cannon” police officer Lance Colt is much less like the renegade hero Mel Gibson plays in…
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