Prick up your Commie ears, Libtards! Because I’m only going to say this once. I REFUSE to apologize for being…
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BOSTON — Time traveler and anti-robot resistance leader Trent Mendez, sent from the future to warn humanity about an impending…
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SALT LAKE CITY — All six patrons and two clerks in Salt Lake City’s Moonshot Comics Emporium reported they were…
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CINCINNATI — 32-year-old claims adjuster Aaron Madson spent the past week listening to classic nü-metal alone in his car “as…
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Oh Jiminy Christmas, I goofed up. Fellas, this one is on me. Well, maybe it’s not really my fault. Kind…
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Prom season is here and you know what that means: A-list pop stars like Taylor Swift, Katy Perry, and Rihanna…
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Have you guys heard of this ACLU? Because apparently they’re like OBSESSED with me! I signed up for their e-newsletter…
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LOS ANGELES — Flaming Lips lead singer Wayne Coyne has severely weakened his immune system due to too much time…
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GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — The guitarist and songwriter of a popular metal band was accused yesterday of using excessive umlauts…
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ATLANTA -— Stubborn, delusional punk Drew Blaney, who has lost a third of his mohawk due to his receding hairline,…
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