CHICAGO — Local 42-year-old man Marshall Reese is descending into a nightmarish, unending spiral of increasingly comforting sleepytime teas, unable to prevent himself from sinking…
America is in the middle of some pretty big changes right now, which you might have missed if you don’t follow the news or didn’t…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local 42-year-old Mitch Hensley, a self-proclaimed supporter of the Portland scene, is concerned that he has already given the best excuses he…
There comes a time in every marriage in which you have to admit that things have gone too far. You might be living in the…
It is no stretch of the imagination to say that the world is in pretty rough shape. A Life Model Decoy of Elon Musk has…
COLTS NECK, N.J. — The grandchildren of legendary musical artist Bruce Springsteen are reportedly exhausted after being serenaded with a soul-scorching series of lullabies that…
Let’s face it: when it comes to athletic competition, you’ll take every advantage you can get. The race doesn’t always have to go to the…
Okay, that’s it. I’ve had enough. I’m done being toyed with. No longer will I sit around and wait for the Cryptkeeper to resurrect my…
PORTLAND, Ore. — The recent breakup between aspiring singer-songwriter Davy Briggs and girlfriend of two months Evelyn Hanna was deemed insufficiently traumatic to inspire a…
CHICAGO — Local public bus driver Charlene Algren is fed up with the third “Speed” situation that forced her bus into a heart-pumping thrill ride…
The holidays are a difficult time for many people, but especially for losers who no one loves or even thinks about. For a lot of…
We all face problems in life, from agonizing over your crippling fear of commitment and proposing to your longtime partner to developing a crippling fear…
Is there a more romantic season than fall, aside from spring, summer, and winter? When the leaves start changing colors and evenings get snuggly, it’s…
How to describe David Lynch? Is he a genius filmmaker? An iconoclastic multimedia artist? The dude who fumbled Isabella Rossellini? Well, I have another question:…
David Bowie was a true chameleon of rock music. Over the decades, he was able to seamlessly blend wildly different genres and images into a…