HARDTIMES

July 8, 2025

LOS ANGELES — Legendary rock musician Sting has finally neared climax in a round of sexual intercourse that originally began…

May 23, 2025

CHICAGO — Local 42-year-old man Marshall Reese is descending into a nightmarish, unending spiral of increasingly comforting sleepytime teas, unable…

May 14, 2025

America is in the middle of some pretty big changes right now, which you might have missed if you don’t…

May 12, 2025

PORTLAND, Ore. — Local 42-year-old Mitch Hensley, a self-proclaimed supporter of the Portland scene, is concerned that he has already…

April 2, 2025

There comes a time in every marriage in which you have to admit that things have gone too far. You…

April 1, 2025

It is no stretch of the imagination to say that the world is in pretty rough shape. A Life Model…

March 15, 2025

COLTS NECK, N.J. — The grandchildren of legendary musical artist Bruce Springsteen are reportedly exhausted after being serenaded with a…

March 4, 2025

Let’s face it: when it comes to athletic competition, you’ll take every advantage you can get. The race doesn’t always…

January 28, 2025

Okay, that’s it. I’ve had enough. I’m done being toyed with. No longer will I sit around and wait for…

December 27, 2024

PORTLAND, Ore. — The recent breakup between aspiring singer-songwriter Davy Briggs and girlfriend of two months Evelyn Hanna was deemed…