WASHINGTON — Luxury fashion designer Hugo Boss AG has been selected to create a bold, new uniform for Immigration and Customs Enforcement [ICE], the federal…
Curses! Here I am trying to enjoy a live-streamed performance from Cradle of Filth, my beloved purveyors of gothic metal darkness, and wouldn’t you know…
MIAMI — Restaurant chain Benihana will offer a full hibachi dining experience, including its trademark onion volcanoes, to customers parked curbside in the wake of…
PHILADELPHIA — Local man Eddie Lemburg was stunned today to learn that coworker Steve Winfers, who considers himself part of the LGBTQ community, is completely…
Mr. Bungle? Please, do I look that old? I’m just razzing you. Seriously though, Mr. Bungle was my father’s name, so call me George. George…
NEW HOPE, Pa. — Die-hard fans of alt-rock band Ween can now purchase tickets directly through their court-ordered ankle bracelets, thanks to a new service…
What’s up, party people in the house tonight/tomorrow! Prepare for a blown mind in 3…2…1! BOOM! Studies show that people who can still remember the…
If you’re looking for new music from prolific indie singer-songwriter King Krule AND own property where a ghastly local murder may have been committed, look…
Woah there, chief. Where you going so fast wearing that Misfits shirt like you ain’t got a care in the world? Bet you fancy yourself…
Attention longtime Slayer fans! If you’ve shown your dedication to thrash legends Slayer by carving the band’s name into your flesh, you could be entitled…
In an attempt to reverse waning interest and attract new viewers to The Walking Dead, the long-running series about walking zombies and the plucky survivors…
GUILFORD, Conn. — Folk-punk legend Ol’ Tom Tassy, rumored to stand 180 feet tall and use a modified train car as a guitar, was allegedly…
Edison, New Jersey resident and namby-pamby mama’s boy Jason Saltzman narrowly avoided death Saturday afternoon thanks to the wussy-ass dork-dome his mother ordered him to…
NEW YORK – Pending the outcome of Tuesday’s election, Staten Island resident and local hothead Kevin Esposito vowed to move to another country if his…
BOSTON – Attendees of a Sunday hardcore matinee were both stunned and blessed to witness the resurrection of revered holy figure Jesus Christ. Christ, 33,…