NEW YORK — New York Times headliner editor Percy Howard patted himself on the back today after writing a headline…
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MINNEAPOLIS — Local priest Pastor Stephen Kramer is reportedly suffering a crisis of faith after hearing Christian ska band Skadom…
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Those pigs got nothin’ on you that will stick, so instead of calling that shitty lawyer that screwed up your…
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CHICAGO — Punk dad Paul Bourne was briefly overcome by a wave of nostalgia for his reckless life before kids…
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JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Local metalhead Trent Clayton remains hopeful that the Slayer reunion festival tour schedule didn’t conflict with his…
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Florida Governor Ron DeSantis has always dedicated his life to two things: public service, and public humiliation. Even as he…
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The year was 1992. I had just clocked out at Spencer’s Gifts and walked across the mall to catch the…
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NEW YORK — Centrist supervillain Devin “The Devil’s Advocater” Jameston gave an impassioned monologue today revealing his plan for global…
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Chucky is the gold standard for serial killer toys, slaughtering dozens of victims in creative fashion across decades of films.…
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SEATTLE — Local man Tom Perry was absolutely disgusted after he learned he spent roughly 30 seconds rocking out to…
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