Matt Husser, Author at HARDTIMES

February 28, 2024

MINNEAPOLIS — Local priest Pastor Stephen Kramer is reportedly suffering a crisis of faith after hearing Christian ska band Skadom…

February 26, 2024

Those pigs got nothin’ on you that will stick, so instead of calling that shitty lawyer that screwed up your…

February 24, 2024

CHICAGO — Punk dad Paul Bourne was briefly overcome by a wave of nostalgia for his reckless life before kids…

February 23, 2024

JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Local metalhead Trent Clayton remains hopeful that the Slayer reunion festival tour schedule didn’t conflict with his…

January 21, 2024

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis has always dedicated his life to two things: public service, and public humiliation. Even as he…

January 14, 2024

The year was 1992. I had just clocked out at Spencer’s Gifts and walked across the mall to catch the…

December 27, 2023

NEW YORK — Centrist supervillain Devin “The Devil’s Advocater” Jameston gave an impassioned monologue today revealing his plan for global…

December 21, 2023

Chucky is the gold standard for serial killer toys, slaughtering dozens of victims in creative fashion across decades of films.…

December 4, 2023

SEATTLE — Local man Tom Perry was absolutely disgusted after he learned he spent roughly 30 seconds rocking out to…

October 13, 2023

HUNTINGTON BEACH, Calif. — Local concert promoter Will Braun made the decision to release wolves on stage at local ska…