Louie Aronowitz, Author at HARDTIMES

April 7, 2020

DORAVILLE, Ga. — Local Tinder user Brad Irwin claimed in his dating app bio to keep a minimum six feet…

April 5, 2020

Hey there Delilah, what’s it like in New York City? I’m a thousand miles away, and honestly, I think it’s…

March 29, 2020

OMAHA, Neb. — Local punk and part-time crafts enthusiast Mark Penderson, seeing a need for DIY face masks to help…

March 22, 2020

SAN FRANCISCO — Email marketing specialist Seth Samael, widely considered one of the most diabolical internet admins, was seen twirling…

March 22, 2020

I’ve always wanted to travel but it’s so expensive. Airfare, lodging, food; it all adds up very quickly. Anytime I…

March 21, 2020

Between the pandemic, the quarantine, and now shutting down the border, you guys may never meet my girlfriend. It stinks…

March 21, 2020

Did they cancel your band’s show this weekend because of the quarantine? Ah, stinker! And this was the one I…

March 19, 2020

I got fired. Yeah, I admit it. I was fired BUT, I’m totally fine with it, 'cause that band sucked…

March 18, 2020

DUTCHESS, N.Y. — Endlessly bashful man Dan Jennick admitted today that he’s made extra trips to his local Starbucks during…

March 18, 2020

BROOKLYN — Local roommate Will Sanders surprised his housemates yesterday when he finally bought toilet paper for the first time…