Louie Aronowitz, Author at HARDTIMES

June 30, 2022

PERRYSBURG, Ohio — A recent posting of singer/songwriter Dan Sheen’s Bandcamp link has silenced his local friend group chat despite…

June 21, 2022

LOS ANGELES — Notoriously youthful megastar Paul Rudd recently stated his youthful appearance is the result of self-care, genetics, and…

January 8, 2021

Sure it’s empowering to act on emotion and rage against the machine, but as you get older, you’ll learn that…

November 12, 2020

First and foremost, we want to say congratulations President Biden! Well, moreso good riddance Donald Trump but six in one…

November 9, 2020

HILL VALLEY, Calif. — Marty McFly admitted today that he now mostly uses his time machine to go back in…

October 29, 2020

UMTANUM, Wash. — Local single man Cameron Barrett admitted today that he’s been patiently waiting for his high school crush…

October 29, 2020

OLATHE, Kan. — Liz Barret, your close lifelong friend and one of the only people whose opinion actually matters to…

October 7, 2020

WASHINGTON — Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh tried to create a new judicial nomination process yesterday, in which Ruth Bader…

September 28, 2020

ATLANTA — A team of male researchers reportedly discovered the cure for COVID-19 yesterday, mere seconds after a correlation between…

September 16, 2020

SAN FRANCISCO — Elon Musk announced today that his startup Neuralink will be able to outfit humans with a brain…