Every Waxahatchee Album Ranked Worst to Best
Katie Crutchfield grew up in Birmingham, Alabama near Waxahatchee Creek and cut her teeth as a young musician alongside her…
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Lauren Sewell
10 stories found
Every “Gilmore Girls” Character Ranked By How Cool They’d Be With Eating Street Meat
Fall is here, which means it’s officially “Gilmore Girls” Rewatch Season. All the dramady sluts out there like me are…
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Hyperventilating Teacher Assures Friends That She “Absolutely Loves” Her Job Despite It Causing Stress, Insomnia, Nausea, Anxiety, Back Pain, Strained Relationships, Excruciating Burnout, and a Deep Loathing for All of Humanity
MILWAUKEE — Local third-grade teacher Grace Redding recently stated she “would not trade her job for the world” despite the…
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What To Do When You Match With All Five Goose Members on Hinge
So you matched with not one, not two but all five members of the jam band Goose on a dating…
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Wellness Influencer Responds to Tragedy with “Thoughts and Manifestations”
LOS ANGELES – Local wellness influence Juniper "Uni" Ferdinand offered her sincerest thoughts and manifestations to the victims of another…
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Help! My Dad Accidentally Threw Away My Birth Certificate but Somehow Still Has the Owner’s Manual to Our DVD Player
Yesterday I woke up to a missed call and voicemail from my dad. He said, “Son, I got something important…
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Asshole Driver Somehow Also Asshole Pedestrian
OMAHA, Neb. — Local personal trainer Chance “Hard Knock” Turner has been seen tearing across town in defiance of myriad…
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Out-of-Work Line Cook Prepares Resume By Getting Fourth Knife Tattoo
ST. LOUIS – Local line cook Reuben Gunnels updated his extensive resume by adding a fourth tattoo of a knife…
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Entire Coffee Shop Grimaces As Vegan Barista Announces “Cow’s Milk” Latte
SAN FRANCISCO — Customers at local coffee shop, Verdant Cafe, collectively felt shivers go through their spines when a barista…
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Dive Bar Toilet Thinking About Finally Getting Clean
PITTSBURGH — The men’s room toilet at Skelly’s Tavern is seeking treatment after going through a dark period and hopes…
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