Page 7 – HARDTIMES

April 2, 2020

As we wait patiently for president dementia tits to take a break from eating taco bowls while wiping his ass…

February 28, 2020

It’s been happening for nearly a month now. I’ll be alone in my apartment about to enjoy a tasty half…

February 27, 2020

As a voter and a sexual being, I’ve never felt more conflicted. I don't know who I want to represent…

February 23, 2020

MENLO PARK, Calif. — Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg announced this morning that the social media giant is launching a new…

February 15, 2020

It’s not every day you get to interview a legendary guitarist like Tom Morello. You never know when an opportunity…

January 11, 2020

Having an appreciation for Metallica's later work is like robbing a convenience store; most people look down on it, but…

January 7, 2020

I think it’s time for me to come clean. Yes, I did cry the entire when I got my new…

January 1, 2020

NEW YORK — A barista at a New York City Starbucks struck a somber tone yesterday, wishing that more of…

December 25, 2019

CHICAGO — Holiday icon and present delivery mogul Santa Claus admitted this morning that he snuck Bandcamp links to his…

December 15, 2019

NUTLEY, W.V. — A small-town Waffle House has been recognized as the only space the local punk scene can claim…