Talk therapy is a service that almost all people could benefit from. Unfortunately, it costs about $700 per minute and most therapists kinda suck at…
SAN MATEO, Calif. — A new artificial intelligence program may possibly render all musicians obsolete as it can accurately produce the half-assed efforts of most…
Listen up, motherfucker. I heard what you said. Oh, you think I won’t fight you because I freeze for 40 full seconds anytime my doorbell…
VENICE BEACH, Calif. — Acoustic guitar busker Shelly Martinez is questioning her artistic authenticity after receiving a whopping $3.60 for one day of busking, fellow…
TULSA, Okla. — Local elitist and retired CPA Ronnie Clayton really struggled to draw a musical thread relating the hyperpop sensations 100 gecs to the…
The kids are sleeping at their friend’s house. Your spouse is visiting the in-laws. Tonight is the night! You finally have two or three uninterrupted…
The Hard Times has made more than a few jokes about The Mars Volta over the years. But you only roast the ones you love…
Environment influences art in ways that artists may not be consciously aware of. Nondescript houses in Illinois, fields in upstate New York, and cemeteries near…
LOCK HAVEN, Pa. — Residents of the central Pennsylvania town of Lock Haven are freaking the fuck out that a new Panera Bread location is…
CORPUS CHRISTI, Texas — Local guitarist and gear snob Graham Andersson reportedly paid almost $300 for a fancy brake pedal upgrade in his 2011 Toyota…
MORGANTOWN, W.Va. — A new study revealed that the average millennial has heard the intro to the Minutemen’s classic “Corona” around 25,000 times by the…
SANTA FE, N.M. — Seasoned death metal guitarist Robert Young incurred his first instance of hearing damage by attending a screening of the children’s movie…
If Frank Sinatra’s “My Way” were never played on the radio or in movies again, it would still live on eternally in the collective human…
DALLAS — Despondent black metal bedroom musician Dale “Vaxxix” Houlihan recently came to the sudden realization that the spiritual void in his life is best…
Every Sunday, we peer into The Hard Times’ vast vinyl archives to review a classic album. This week, we attempt to decipher the Sex Pistols’…