John Danek, Author at HARDTIMES

May 27, 2019

MONTREAL — Manufacturers of online AI-driven mastering software LANDR announced a new feature today that politely declines a band’s inevitable…

May 21, 2019

Virtuoso. Iconoclast. Visionary. Ska pioneer. These are just some of the terms used to describe legendary jazz/ska trumpeter Miles Davis.…

May 17, 2019

STANFORD, Calif. — Researchers at Stanford University’s Department of Biochemistry have developed a new drug test that simply checks a…

May 15, 2019

VIENNA – Local punk, former drummer, and current Vienna Philharmonic timpanist Griffin “Scuzz” Boyle removed his shirt minutes into his…

May 10, 2019

MACON, Ga. — Pro-life activist Kevin Hudson completed paperwork today to change his legal birthday to nine months earlier than…

May 8, 2019

NEW YORK — Indimus rockimus bards Titus Andronicus doth declarimus the approaching releasimus of an albumimus christened An Obelisk, according…

May 8, 2019

I see the way you look at me when I pull up at the red light, blasting "Fucking Hostile" off…

May 7, 2019

WASHINGTON — Drummer Cory Adonis of sludge metal band Casket Fissure accidentally opened the biblical Seventh Seal yesterday, commencing the…

April 30, 2019

Much like Children, fantasy is crucial to the emotional and cognitive development of bassists. They need to constantly expand the…

April 5, 2019

LOS ANGELES — Music teacher and ocarina virtuoso Marissa Harte let out a troubling and defeated sigh upon being asked…

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