Great show last night! Seriously, props. Your new band’s first show was packed with friends, your significant other, your significant other’s friends, your significant other’s…
WINNIPEG, Manitoba — Canadian political punk rockers Propagandhi admitted that they are struggling to write new songs after the death of their creative muse Henry…
OTTAWA, Ontario — Beloved ‘90s singer-songwriter Alanis Morissette updated her classic song “Ironic” to highlight the absurdity that the only attractive member of Limp Bizkit,…
LOUISVILLE, Ky. — Cult Americana legends Murder by Death are celebrating a unique milestone by officially disappointing one million metalheads who were enticed by their…
NASHVILLE — Notorious guitar collector Joe Bonamassa is being praised for saving a mint 1965 Gibson ES-335 from a lifetime of quality songwriting in a…
BURLINGTON, Vt. — Local extremely confused man Kirk Unger struggled to determine if he was hearing a live recording of The Grateful Dead or just…
LOS ANGELES — Alleged pedophile and formerly popular rapper Drake hopes a friend can get him hired at Trader Joe’s until the fallout of his…
RIVERSIDE, Calif. — A judge set the trial date for Martin Ernick, a concertgoer who allegedly showed his entrance ticket to the bouncer who was…
CHARLESTON, S.C. — A new study by the College of Charleston confirms that the majority of shoppers at JoAnn Fabrics espouse stronger and more tangible…
NEW YORK — The ASPCA announced that adoptions have increased over 600% after switching their long-standing advertising music from Sarah McLachlan’s “Angel” with a two-second…
Sunn O))) is a singular band with an undeniable sound and supremely annoying name. Just because “O)))” looks like the letter O being stretched out…
BATON ROUGE, La. — The ghost of Winston Batts, a cobbler and hobbyist clarinetist who died in 1944, is finally inspired enough to begin work…
The miracle of childbirth changes you instantly. When I first saw my goopy baby and heard its cries, my heart swelled; I knew life would…
IOWA CITY, Iowa — The members of local prog metal band Miscreations are embroiled in debate as to whether their name is “Miscreations” or “The…
MANCHESTER — New wave obsessive and romantic introvert Jana Chapman is disappointed to find herself in a love triangle that no one could possibly consider…