OAKLAND, Calif. — Senior Software Engineer Taylor Masters added multiple patches to his Patagonia vest in hopes of blending in at a DIY punk show…
CHICAGO — Recovered addict and veteran sober person Anna Caspian is happy with her recent reduction of La Croix consumption to three cases a day,…
LOS ANGELES — Software Developer and self-described “weed snob” Aiden Crispin exclusively fills his bong with chilled Evian, sources rolling their admittedly red eyes confirm.…
COLUMBUS, Ohio — Graphic Designer Mark Gravel’s two teen children were horrified to find a box in the attic with six different white belts their…
WASHINGTON — The Straight Edge Supreme Court will hear arguments this week in the case of Lewis v. Monster Energy which could overturn the landmark…
NEW YORK — New safe injection site, Harm Reduction and Education Center, was deemed “fascist” by Marcus “Scuzz” Benitez after refusing to let him put…
OKLAHOMA CITY — Your horny aunt Gladys created an air of tension after expressing a deep and carnal interest in your Type O Negative shirt…
SEATTLE — Self-proclaimed Twitter activist Rachel Morrow claimed that if they had access to a functioning time machine they would use it to travel back…
VARESE, Italy — Macy Ridge, lead singer of Baltimore punk band Forced Circumcision, embarked on her first solo tour of Europe to get free medical…
SCHAUMBURG, Ill. — Twice divorced Uncle Mike Dilmer became outraged beyond comprehension due to the mere existence of Tofurky at his extended family’s Thanksgiving celebration,…
GAINESVILLE, Fla — Volunteer security guards at The Fest accidentally let upward of 40 different guys who look like local music mainstay Chuck Ragan backstage…
PALM BEACH, Fla. — Users signing up for TRUTH Social, the social media platform started by former President Donald J. Trump, will not only be…
LIMA, Ohio — A large, unattended assortment of pumpkins located in front of Lima Bethelem Church are apparently free for the taking based on how…
PORTLAND, Ore. — A recent study out of the Portland Cannabis Institute shows American states that legalize recreational marijuana use see a 45% increase in…
LONDON — UK-based rapper Ay Dele is struggling to write lyrics for his eagerly-awaited third album after his first and second albums, “Innit: Da’ Beginninit”…