Tech-Bro at Oakland Punk Show Puts Patches on Patagonia Vest
OAKLAND, Calif. — Senior Software Engineer Taylor Masters added multiple patches to his Patagonia vest in hopes of blending in…
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Goodrich Gevaart
63 stories found
Sober Person Down to 3 Cases of La Croix A Day
CHICAGO — Recovered addict and veteran sober person Anna Caspian is happy with her recent reduction of La Croix consumption…
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Weed Snob Fills Bong with Evian
LOS ANGELES — Software Developer and self-described “weed snob” Aiden Crispin exclusively fills his bong with chilled Evian, sources rolling…
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Children Horrified to Discover Dad’s White Belt Stash from His Screamo Days
COLUMBUS, Ohio — Graphic Designer Mark Gravel’s two teen children were horrified to find a box in the attic with…
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Straight Edge Supreme Court Decision Could Overturn Landmark MacKaye vs. Caffeine Case
WASHINGTON — The Straight Edge Supreme Court will hear arguments this week in the case of Lewis v. Monster Energy…
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Fascist Safe Injection Site Won’t Let Grind Band Post Flyers on Wall
NEW YORK — New safe injection site, Harm Reduction and Education Center, was deemed “fascist” by Marcus “Scuzz” Benitez after…
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Fascist Safe Injection Site Won’t Let Grind Band Post Flyers on Wall
NEW YORK — New safe injection site, Harm Reduction and Education Center, was deemed “fascist” by Marcus “Scuzz” Benitez after…
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Horny Aunt Loves Your Type O Negative Shirt
OKLAHOMA CITY — Your horny aunt Gladys created an air of tension after expressing a deep and carnal interest in…
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Horny Aunt Loves Your Type O Negative Shirt
OKLAHOMA CITY — Your horny aunt Gladys created an air of tension after expressing a deep and carnal interest in…
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Twitter Activist Would Use Time Machine to Cancel Hitler
SEATTLE — Self-proclaimed Twitter activist Rachel Morrow claimed that if they had access to a functioning time machine they would…
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