SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. — Bret Michael’s longtime bandana and cowboy hat launched a heated custody battle of his head this week, according to sources flipping through…
ATLANTA — Local man Joshua Kennedy recently expressed frustration that his employer instituted a new zero-tolerance policy against workplace harassment just days before hiring somebody…
SUNNYVALE, Calif. — A local man who miraculously woke up from a two-decade-long coma was horrified to learn that the world was still burdened by…
BALTIMORE — Local resident Gavin Moldenhauer is reportedly demanding all romantic partners sign a Non-Disclosure Agreement to keep his obsession with ska music secret, according…
People say the darndest things. They call my drinking habits “concerning” and say my behavior is “out of control.” But if the amount I drink…
SIERRA VISTA, Ariz. — The National Association of Bird Lovers (NABL) finally ended years of speculation and admitted that their seemingly wholesome activity was based…
The political divide in this country has never been more extreme. Americans have been siloed into two opposing groups with no seemingly little hope to…
Everyone’s heard of Nostradamus, that famous old French dude who was an expert at predicting world events. But what if I told you that I…
OLATHE, Kan. — Local 34-year-old Gareth Tabbler was somehow eligible to receive food stamps despite already having three full-time jobs, according to sources concerned for…
VANCOUVER, Wash. – Local office worker and self-proclaimed feminist Bryce Coquet loudly reprimanded a female coworker for having the audacity to mention that she had…
I’m so tired of these supposed healthcare professionals thinking that they’re qualified to judge me just because of their fancy “degrees” and industry-recognized “expertise.” How…
Hurray! You’ve finally saved enough money working your shitty nine-to-five and numerous side hustles to afford a house. Your dad always said you were a…
HOUSTON — Local Make-A-Wish kid Harvey Larkin, who has a rare degenerative disease that will certainly put an end to his short, unfulfilled life, realized…
These fucking hypocrites at this church make me sick. Each week a sermon is interrupted by another rowdy kid screaming, throwing things, or shitting their…
SURREY, England — Musician Eric Clapton surprised everyone by announcing that his 1992 hit song “Tears in Heaven” is now about the Messiah’s despair that…