Page 39 – HARDTIMES

October 30, 2017

NEW ORLEANS — Local punk Andrew Reeder has turned tragedy into profit by taking skittish tourists on “spooky” expeditions of…

October 29, 2017

COLORADO SPRINGS, Co. — Known optimist and all-around “jovial soul” Sarah Burke was harassed again by the city’s goth population…

October 28, 2017

ROCKAWAY, N.J. — A sultry outfit depicting infamous musician and record producer Steve Albini is the most sought-after costume this…

October 18, 2017

PEORIA, Ill. — Infamous sophomore bully Peter Fazio has chosen to target Dane Sumner’s large facial birthmark for hazing, choosing…

October 14, 2017

Hey Brad, thanks so much for inviting me to your Halloween party! Just a heads up, I am about to…

October 4, 2017

BLOOMINGDALE, Ill. — Local retail employee Will Esposito was surprised last week to find Tower Records, his former place of…

September 15, 2017

CLEVELAND — Tensions erupted earlier this week when local metal band Six Inch Fetus struggled to determine who would be…

September 14, 2017

NEW YORK CITY — Cinemax will begin airing softcore, heavily edited recordings of punk shows late at night for mature…

September 8, 2017

ST. JOSEPH, Mich. — Brian Freemont was dismayed Thursday evening after being promised a night of wild role-playing by his…

September 4, 2017

CHICAGO — A standoff is brewing between a local improv troupe and their audience, as Fancy Bananas have refused to…