ANYTOWN, U.S. — Johnny Johnson, local paperboy, has been hospitalized after being severely beaten by local resident Grady Hollis for delivering “fake news” to Hollis’…
OMAHA, Neb. — Graham Carson, drummer for indie outfit Fleet Foxes, chewed through the muscle and bone just above his elbow last week when he…
DECATUR, Ga. — Beth and William Conden were surprised to discover last week that the touring punk band they are hosting lives only a few…
OAK HILL, Tenn. — Hit TV show Game Of Thrones will officially surpass the plot of Nashville-area resident Drew Cale’s nightly self-pleasuring daydreams with the premiere…
It is a wonderful thing when a song’s lyrics define who you are as a person. It’s even more wonderful when you want those lyrics…
DENVER — The pit at famed punk venue The Safe Room was packed with teary-eyed loved ones and well-wishers on Thursday night, as the flayed…
BROOKLYN — A neighborhood garden has been left to the elements a full 60 days ahead of projections in a “triumph of underachievement,” according to…
LOS ANGELES — Amid a packed auditorium, EDM music and swirling laser lights, GameStop CEO J. Paul Raines unveiled a used Nintendo 64 console made…
BOSTON — Hapless rugby coach Roy Walker has molded a group of aggressive hardcore kids and their raw, unfettered mosh pit tactics into potential rugby…
THE HAUGE, Netherlands — In a closed-door trial, military leaders leveled punishment against Sgt. Paul Jackson (aka UberDomed2005) for war crimes after allegedly placing his…
CHICAGO — Aging punks Paul Schiffer and Jessica Hernandez believe their sex life has become stale, following their most recent “routine and lackluster pounding” in a…
NEW YORK — After a long battle with apathy, local musician Peter Costello was forced to put his pet project VeRu to rest earlier today.…
BERKELEY, Calif. — Lara Townsend, primary girlfriend of local polyamor Rick Walcott, has reluctantly decided that she, too, will now tote a hierarchy of lovers,…