Guy Reading Print Newspaper Must Be Steampunk or Something
SAN DIEGO – Several passersby were bewildered yesterday by what must have been a steampunk of some sort, quietly reading…
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Cory Cousins — Page 6
74 stories found
5 Signs You’re Being Hunted For Sport by Old Rich Men
Look, we’ve all been there. You’ve decided to take a nice, relaxing vacation, sailing by yourself in the middle of…
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San Francisco Couple Loves How Orange Leaves Look on Homeless Person
SAN FRANCISCO — A young San Franciscan couple enjoyed the beginnings of autumn this weekend, relishing the sight of a…
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Opinion: If You Wanted French Fries, You Should Have Ordered Some
Dear Claire, This letter will probably not come as a shock to you, after your shameless performance at White Castle…
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Embarrassed Nation Double-Books Mass Shooting
DAYTON, Ohio — The United States of America was embarrassed to admit it accidentally double-booked two mass shootings within 24…
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Roadie Traded For New Tire
BOISE, Idaho — Touring band Star Monkey traded one of their roadies last night to fellow touring band Tree Destroyer,…
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Newly Fired Metal Guitarist Must Shave and Return Braided Beard Before Leaving Band
MINNEAPOLIS — A guitarist for local metal outfit Goat Theory was fired last week, forced to shave his beard and…
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Scott Ian’s Goatee Kind of a Dick in Person
SAN FRANCISCO — A select group of lucky fans backstage after an Anthrax show last night were ultimately disappointed to…
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Mortified Man Accidentally Wears Thrash Metal Shirt to Doom Metal Show
YPSILANTI, Mich. — Local man Toby Campbell was humiliated last night by accidentally wearing a thrash metal shirt to a…
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Mike Portnoy’s Kit Technically Playing on Different Festival Stage Than Other Dream Theater Members
CHICAGO — Attendees of this year’s Prog-A-Thon Talent Metal Festival were confused to see Dream Theater drummer Mike Portnoy playing…
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