Bobby Korec, Author at HARDTIMES

“The Simpsons” Characters Ranked By How Likely They Are to Invest in Crypto and Never Shut the Hell Up About It

May 10, 2024

Whether you like it or not, everyone is talking about cryptocurrencies. Even in Springfield. No one knows for sure what…

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VIP Tickets for “20 Years of Tears” Tour Include Exclusive Access to Leave Early to Beat the Traffic

April 17, 2024

DAYTON, Ohio — The recently announced 20 Years of Tears tour featuring emo legends Hawthrone Heights, Thursday, and Saosin will…

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Child of Divorced Stoners Not Excited to Celebrate Two 311 Days

March 11, 2024

CORAM, N.Y. — Local eight-year-old Evie Doyleson was completely turned off by the idea of having to celebrate 311 Day…

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ASL Interpreter in Way Over Their Head After Hired to Work Upcoming Sigur Rós US Tour

March 1, 2024

DETROIT — Local American sign language interpreter Luke Phisher felt completely overwhelmed after being hired to work the upcoming US…

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Bootlicker Seamlessly Transitions to Trump Sneaker Licker

February 19, 2024

NEW WINDSOR, Md. — Longtime cop enthusiast Lou Mandin seamlessly transitioned from a locally known bootlicker to a Trump sneaker…

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Every Bloc Party Album Ranked From Worst to Best

February 12, 2024

It feels like not enough people talk about Bloc Party’s impact when conversing about bands that rose to prominence in…

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Usher to Perform His Role in “The Faculty” During Super Bowl Halftime Show

February 11, 2024

LAS VEGAS — Pop R&B star Usher revealed that he will mainly perform his character Gabe Santora from the 1998…

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Ticketmaster Somehow Charges $7.99 Service Fee for Secret Green Day Show on Subway Platform

January 17, 2024

NEW YORK — Local entertainment ticketing conglomerate Ticketmaster was inexplicably able to charge a $7.99 service fee for each MTA…

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Iowa Republicans Instinctively Burn Books to Warm Up During Caucus

January 15, 2024

DES MOINES, Iowa — Conservative voters immediately opted to burn books to warm up at the Iowa Caucus due to…

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Tireless Chris Christie Begins Preparation for 2028 Presidential Election Dropout Announcement

January 11, 2024

MENDHAM TOWNSHIP, N.J. — The notoriously hardworking Chris Christie began preparing for his 2028 presidential election dropout announcement mere hours…

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