LAS CRUCES, N.M. — Bullshit romantic comedy drama “Crazy on You” didn’t even have English musician Peter Gabriel’s 1977 debut solo single “Solsbury Hill” on its soundtrack, disgusted viewers report.
“What the fuck, man?” movie watcher Kira Kendall complained. “What kind of romantic comedy drama is this? I’ve been watching this whole movie waiting to hear ‘Solsbury Hill’ and I’m nearing the end without having heard it even once. I thought for sure they’d play it after the scene where the protagonist hurts herself on the ski trip while trying to impress her crush, and then they kiss after he’s icing her ankle in the ski lodge while they’re sitting in front of the fire. This movie is total bullshit. I’m not going to watch any romantic comedy dramas for a while.”
Director Brad Cordin was embarrassed by his oversight.
“How could I have forgotten to add that song?” Cordin lamented. “Everyone knows it’s not a romantic comedy drama if it doesn’t have ‘Solsbury Hill.’ I had so many perfect opportunities to add it, too, like the scene in the book store where Bethany and Harold gaze into each other’s eyes after accidentally bumping their heads together while reaching for ‘Wuthering Heights’ at the same time, or later after he catches her in that night club after her awful blind date spins her out of control on the dance floor. I can’t believe I made such a rookie mistake, and after years of directing at that. I should give back my film degree from NYU, because I certainly have no right to display it.”
Cinema expert Anna Gonzalez offered her insight on the matter.
“It’s actually pretty common for movie directors to miss low-hanging fruit with their soundtracks,” Gonzalez said. “I recently did a case study on films that didn’t have ‘Bad to the Bone’ despite featuring Harley-riding bad boys, and I’ve even seen baseball movies that failed to include ‘Centerfield’ by John Fogerty in one of their scenes. Directors just get so in the weeds with finishing their projects on time and under budget that they can sometimes forget to make these necessary inclusions. With that being said, though, failing to include ‘Solsbury Hill’ in a romantic comedy drama is absolutely unforgivable.”
At press time, moviegoers were further enraged when the movie didn’t even have Hugh Grant as the starring male lead.
