BETHESDA, Md. — Lockheed Martin CEO James Taiclet recently released an Instagram video of him taking a bite of a Vectis Combat Drone during his lunch hour, confirmed sources.
“I love this product, we’re going to do a tasting here. I’m going to have this drone for lunch,” said Taiclet, seated at a Lockheed break room table with a Coke Zero and a giant drone in front of him. “We have tested this already on schools, hospitals, and weddings all over the world. And now for the most important test: the taste test. Sure, it could use a sesame bun, but at Lockheed, we’re not picky with our unmanned aerial vehicles.”
Warehouse Foreman George Maxwell said it wasn’t the first time he’s seen their CEO on the premises.
“He’s in here sometimes. Occasionally, I’ll see him taking a bite out of a new missile recipe. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen him eat a drone though,” said Maxwell. “I don’t eat any of the drones myself. I don’t think any of the other guys do either. I usually have something leftover that my wife made for dinner. If I don’t have leftovers I usually have a sandwich or something. Never a drone though. Too many carbs.”
Lockheed Martin Communications Director Brittany Shamlock was on hand to oversee the video shoot.
“It’s important to jump on these trends when they’re out there,” Shamrock began. “I’m fresh out of Vanderbilt where I studied mass communication and I know when the CEO can get out there, show their personality, and eat a weapon of mass death as a meal, it’s something you’ve got to do. Jim is so down to earth and grounded. He’s a father of daughters. It’s so fun to see him let his hair down! This is what the public doesn’t see every day. A man who gets up, drops his girls off at school, and then makes weapons to bomb schools just like that overseas. It’s special.”
At press time, Taiclet made an appearance on “Hot Ones” where he tasted bombs with increasing levels of spice.
