SAN FRANCISCO — The local kink community was fascinated today by a dom who compels their sub to both read and explain rules to a board game, confirmed slightly turned on sources.
“It’s just about the most unpleasant and degrading thing I can possibly think of,” said dominant partner Alex Shane. “I’ve tried spitting, stepping on, choking, slapping, nipple clamps, all of them pale in comparison to making someone explain Ticket to Ride to a room of uninterested friends who would rather just drink beer and chat. You can really see the sexual pain on her face as she has to read a thick ass rule book and then figure out how to teach that to people. And answer their incessant questions about it even though she barely knows more than them. It gets my dick rock hard.”
The submissive in the relationship also expressed satisfaction with the new arrangement.
“My daddy loves it when I summarize board game rules,” said thoroughly dominated Donna Klompen. “It’s so hot for me that I’ve started going to the library to rent games. But I just read the rule books instead and that gets me almost all the way there. It hurts so good to tell people how to trade for sheep in Catan. I’m a little worried how this is affecting my brain though. The other day I was playing Monopoly with my nephews. I explained that we put money in Free Parking and then I got all hot and bothered.”
Although the dom/sub dynamic is working for the couple, others that know them are not as thrilled.
“Board game nights suck now, shit is weird as fuck,” related visibly shaken friend Wendy Tyler. “We were all getting together to play Wingspan, and then Donna comes out wearing a choker that says ‘Daddy’s Little Slut’ and immediately starts explaining how you need to lay eggs on birds to gain points. We all played the game before, but she was still explaining it and she was into it. I mean really into it. Alex was staring at her and licking his lips the whole time, I did not care for it. Didn’t even get to play Codenames because I was too freaked.”
At press time, the board game group was passing on Shane and Klompen’s suggestion to play Twister.
