SAN MATEO, Calif. – President-elect Donald Trump announced via Truth Social his intention to remove “any and all” federal protections for the near-extinct Aquabats.
“It’s wasteful. Why would we protect something that hasn’t been relevant since the late ’90s?” Trump wrote on Truth Social. “The liberals destroying this country with these DISASTROUS protections want your kids to be able to put on a mask and costume and identify as an ‘Aquabat’! These aren’t good people! Only VERY BAD PEOPLE wear masks: rapists, drug dealers, raccoons, luchadores — and ska bands!! I will repeal these protections IMMEDIATELY! MAKE AMERICA LESS THEATRICAL AGAIN!”
Trump’s statements have left Dan Leathman, president of the Aquacadet Preservation Society, deeply concerned about the broader implications.
“The Aquabats aren’t the problem. The protection itself isn’t the problem. The problem is the message this sends to the people most affected by the protections,” Leathman said. “And that message is: If you wear a mask and express yourself artistically through things like music, then you are no longer a ‘real’ band. He wants his definition of what constitutes a ‘band’ to become the law of the land because it benefits those bands closest to Trump. He absolutely wants to rid this country of anything that reminds people of the prosperous late ’90s. Trump would rather his friends in groups like Avenged Sevenfold and Imagine Dragons provide the soundtrack for this dystopian, late-stage capitalist hellscape.”
Diana Larue, a spokesperson for the ACLU, explained that while this type of promise isn’t new for an incoming president, it remains alarming.
“Quite a few presidents have vowed to repeal protections and regulations in a similar way,” said Larue. “In the past, we’ve seen other incoming presidents promising to repeal protections for The Hippos found in LA County and the rare Squirrel Nut Zippers in North Carolina. Very rarely do these proposals gain traction, but with Trump, it very likely could. And if that happens, it sets a dangerous precedent for years to come. Where would it end? This could be an entry point to start attacking other mask-wearing entertainers like team mascots—or GWAR. And GWAR won’t go quietly.”
This weekend, Leathman and his organization plan to hold a rally in front of the Del Taco in Huntington Beach, California.