BAYONNE, N.J. — American author George R. R. Martin teamed up with members of Streetlight Manifesto to announce plans to collaborate on a new project aimed at keeping fans in suspense indefinitely, confirmed disappointed sources.
“I’ve actually been a huge Streetlight Manifesto fan for a while,” said Martin. “Lyrically, I find the grim reality of Westeros has a lot in common with ska. So much so, and I won’t say which one, but I’ve based a major villain in my ‘A Song of Ice of Fire’ saga on the singer of the Mighty Mighty Bosstones. I realized Streetlight hadn’t released a record in 11 years! I knew then I wanted to reach out and collaborate on something where we can really make the fans bash their heads against a wall out of frustration.”
Fans were buzzing with excitement about the possibility of not getting something new.
“I’m surprised and excited. Receiving word of a delay is just as exhilarating as the product itself,” gushed Luke Matthews, a fan of both Martin and Streetlight Manifesto. “What really sets them both apart from their peers is how much creative energy they spend on writing about how they are not writing. Two titans of delays teaming up to find new and innovative ways to avoid giving the fans what they want, it’s hard to fathom and I can’t believe it’s happening. I’m just really looking forward to not getting anything for years to come. Possibly ever again. Who knows? Maybe they’ll even start un-releasing previous works. You never know with those guys.”
However, some had concerns that this collaboration might actually have other less ideal ramifications.
“In order for this project between them to be a success they actually have to avoid collaborating together,” said pop culture historian Nick Lewsen. “Given their history of using other projects to avoid the ones fans really care about — all of sudden ‘The Winds of Winter’ and a new record are all but guaranteed to be finished and released. And I’m just not sure how I feel about that.”
As of press time, both Martin and Streetlight Manifesto independently revealed the intricacies of wearing vintage fisherman and engineer hats while offering no new information on their joint project.