OKLAHOMA CITY, Okla. – Local indie rock quartet Girlfriend’s Homework were treated to a “cacophony” of boos after they earnestly attempted showmanship onstage, disgusted sources report.
“Oh man, it was like one of those…what’s that German word for like, secondhand shame? Seinfeld? Sorry, I’m kinda out of it, I just worked a rodeo sponsored by weed influencers,” said Sherman Talk, a vegan sandwich artist who attended the band’s gig last weekend. “They kicked off their set with some super competent riffing. So cringe! And then the singer, he pops in with this really poetic lyric about his acute sense of isolation in the modern world. I can still feel my skin crawling. Apparently he just lost a parent to Alzheimer’s? He had this perfect blend of tragi-comic songwriting and vibrant onstage charisma that was so deeply embarrassing to witness.”
Frontman Daniel Matts knew from the get-go that the performance was heading south.
“There’s no way around it, man. We practiced way too much,” said Matts, a lifelong OKC native who started a non-profit to support cafeterias at underfunded elementary schools. “Our sound has never been more cohesive, and I’ve been reading a ton of 19th-century Irish romantic poetry that’s definitely been influencing my songwriting. That gig was the culmination of countless sleepless nights in the studio, hours of blood, sweat, and calluses. That level of total commitment to our art was definitely our first mistake.”
Unfortunately, producer Bernard Token, who was scouting the Southwest for new talent to sign to his record label, walked out during the show.
“Girlfriend’s Homework…man, that gig was rough,” laughed Token, who founded the iconic indie label Afraid Of Women using money that his great-uncle Henry Kissinger Venmoed him a few years ago. “A humiliating display of camaraderie. You can tell those guys just loooove playing music together. I’m pretty sure their drummer broke a sweat and everything. Guys like me who understand the industry are looking for a much more cynical, detached, and emotionally void product to work with.”
As of press time, Girlfriend’s Homework bassist Mike Tooth decided to quit the band to focus on his electronic solo career, an indie sleaze revival act like The Dare but with no computers, just bass.