OAKLAND, Calif. — Local punk venue Lost Star announced that it would be honoring the life of recently deceased scene legend “Rabid” Robbie Johnston by naming its only bathroom stall after him, attendees of the unveiling ceremony have reported.
“In the ten years I’ve been running the place I don’t think Robbie missed a single show. He really was the glue holding this scene together both artistically and as a weed plug. After he was crushed by a garbage truck while dumpster diving I thought the most appropriate way to commemorate his life was to name our bathroom stall after him. It was where he spent a majority of his time after all,” said owner Travis Adamski. “I know it means we’ll have to clean the toilet more than twice a year, but for Rabid Robbie it’s worth it. I hope when anyone uses it from consuming too many pickled olives and Old Styles, they’ll think of him.”
Johnston’s brother was on hand to represent his family during the naming ceremony.
“I can’t think of a higher honor for Robbie than this. Truth be told he spent a considerable amount of time passed out in the trough, but naming the stall after him is a bit more dignified. I wish the rest of my family could join us but they were worried about getting tetanus,” said Michael Johnston. “I miss him dearly, but it’s comforting to know his legacy will live on as a place where punks can write obscenities and ACAB on the stall walls like he would. Rest in power, brother.”
Despite multiple requests, the City of Oakland declined to make the venue’s stall an official memorial site.
“The fact that Johnston’s family is filing a wrongful death suit against the Department of Sanitation has nothing to do with denying the bar’s request for an official memorial plaque. It’s just that we want our commemorations reserved for community leaders and trailblazers, but we are flooded with requests to name streets and parks after some crust punk who saw Discharge 50 times,” said city hall rep Janice Jones. “That’s not to say we deny all of them, we just relegate those tributes to back alleys and bus stations, but certainly not bathroom stalls. Then again that might inspire punks to stop urinating on existing memorials.”
As of press time, the stall officially opened to the public after the ceremonial puking into the toilet.