America’s expectations for its leaders have always been low. We’ve had presidents who needed help with basic tech, and we were okay with it. But now, we face a terrifying prospect: a leader who might know how to convert a Word document to a PDF.
In 2024, Kamala Harris has the potential to be the first president with this ability, reportedly mastering PDF conversion by typing “pdf” into Microsoft Word’s search bar. Is this progress? Or is it a slippery slope toward a future where our leaders are expected to perform basic tasks without passing the buck to those with less status and wealth?
PDF conversion has eluded each of our previous presidents in the digital age. Bill Clinton was president when PDFs were invented in 1993, but when a junior staffer brought up this new file type, he asked her, “Does that stand for ‘pretty damn fine’… like how you’re looking right now?” That was the end of any serious tech conversation during his term.
With his youthful, tech-savvy vibe, many assumed that Barack Obama knew this stuff. But when pressed about how to convert file types, he responded, “What do I look like, some kinda fuckin’ nerd?” His honesty was refreshing. After all, converting a file shouldn’t be the president’s job. That is what interns are for. (Recent surveys show 90% of interns’ work hours are spent combining, condensing, and converting documents in a way that doesn’t crash the aging government servers.)
Let’s remember what’s really at stake here: the intern-to-advisor pipeline. This sacred institution has molded countless young, wide-eyed college students into seasoned political operatives, making six figures based solely on their ability to click “File” and then “Save As PDF.” If a president starts handling this themselves, what’s next? Will the interns have to pivot to writing macros in Excel? It’s a slippery slope that could disrupt not just the economy, but the very fabric of American democracy.
So, the question remains if America is ready for a president who can operate thirty-year-old software. Maybe some mysteries are better left unsolved—at least by those in the Oval Office. The future might be coming, but does it really need to arrive in PDF form?