You can’t turn on the damn TV without seeing ‘those’ people pouring over the border these days. They stomp their muddy feet on the doormat, kick the door open and come get comfy in our home. And hell, Joe and Kamala are leaving out snacks for them in the kitchen, putting fresh sheets on the bed, leaving get-out-of-jail cards for their heroin and permission slips to sex our woman.
As South Dakotans we have done our part to help people; we took a group who could care less about our beautiful Mount Rushmore and gave them protected reservations. We should have been the ones with reservations though, because they thanked us by getting all BLM protest-y when we tried to slip a little pipeline through. Oil is the blood we run on, who wouldn’t want to be close to a vein? And it’s easy to see that both groups have some, eh, physical similarities.
Not to mention, a few years ago, we dealt with another invasion and barely made it through. Our fine state was overrun with stupid New Englanders and lefty Californians, all here to see where HBO’s “Deadwood” filmed. You ever seen a mining museum get turned into a Starbucks? And with these fence hoppers who knows what the Starbucks gets turned into, and is there a Mexican version of “Deadwood” heartthrob Timothy Olyphant? Because that actually sounds nice. I would split a steak and can of beans off the campfire with a Mexican Timothy Olyphant, set up a little cozy camp spot in the Badlands. I don’t agree with homosexuality, but c’mon.
You also have to realize Wall Drug is probably the best goddamn roadside store in our great nation. And you mean to tell me that soon, when I get my 5 cent coffee, someone from Cartel-ville Mexico is going to ring me up at the counter then kill me? I can’t and I won’t! If anyone is gonna murder me it’s gonna be me, because I drink in the Black Hills and drive home A LOT! Add a bunch of Ford Pintos and some of those weird car-trucks and that’s way too many obstacles for me to safely drunk-drive home.
Please! If you don’t believe me that they are coming for you, check my sources; Eric Trump’s Twitter page, any Meme from Libs of TikTok, and Ben Shapiro’s Onlyfans.