FERNDALE, Mich. — Two former strangers seated together on a Megabus ride found common ground through despising the Eagles despite one referring to the band and the other the football team, astonished sources confirmed.
“I try not to judge anyone too harshly on first looks, but I’ll be honest, with his crewcut and brand new ‘Fuck the Phillies’ shirt, I thought I wasn’t gonna like this guy. But, it turns out he despises the Eagles just as much as I do!” said punk rock lifer Gunther Bergins. “Sure, he seems a bit confused when I talk about how overplayed they are on the radio, but he was on board. He was much more enthusiastic when I started talking about the Saints. Again, I didn’t figure him for a fan of Australian punk, but it just goes to show you! I gotta get this guy to make me a mix!”
Bergins’ seatmate Harlan Klein was just as dubious of his unlikely companion at first glance.
“I thought the freaks come out at night, not 9:45 in the morning, if you get what I’m saying. But, my mouth was shut as soon as he started popping off on those damn Birds. I’m a Saints man, understand?” said Klein, as he showed off his Drew Brees tattoo just out of sight of Bergins. “I just feel comfortable talking to the guy, what can I say? Plus, he likes basketball too, I guess, what with how enthusiastic he was about seeing the Sonics back in the ‘90s. Although, I’m not sure where he gets off saying ‘their sound started back in the ‘60s.’ Don’t all basketballs pretty much sound the same? Ah, whatever, maybe he’s had a few beers, and hopefully he’s sharin’, am I right?”
Overhearing their entire conversation, the driver of the Las Vegas bound bus was the only person who knew the true story.
“These two dummies have been talking about totally different subjects the entire ride, and I’m apparently the only one who realizes it. I’ve almost taken a wrong turn a half dozen times just because I’m so flabbergasted that they haven’t figured it out by now,” said bus operator Fannie Pritchard. “I wish I could place a bet on how this shakes out. Will their friendship make it to Vegas? Only time will tell. I’m hoping for the best, but in my experience, punks and sports fans don’t mix. But, then again, maybe they can bond over their love of violence after they’re exposed. Either way, I’m just hoping I don’t have to pull over and ditch them on the side of the highway.”
At press time, the budding friendship was still inadvertently going strong after the two got on the subject of Modern Baseball.