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Lesbian Tattoo Parlor Only Offers Celtic Knots and Dog Portraits

EUGENE, Ore. — Lesbian-owned tattoo parlor Rock Scissored Paper offers its dedicated clientele a variety of tattoo options as long as they are Celtic knots or dog portraits and absolutely nothing else, confirmed multiple happy customers.

“Listen, any entrepreneur will tell you that you’ve gotta find your market. I’ve run this place for fifteen years, and I quickly realized that the top designs for us–dog portraits and Celtic knots–are really our bread and butter. So we narrowed our focus and began to offer those pieces exclusively,” said business owner Cee Snyder gesturing to the framed pieces of flash on the all-black walls. “It worked. We have women from all over the Pacific Northwest drive their Subarus up to our humble shop to get their calves tattooed. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!”

Artist Julia “Jo” Collins offered her inside perspective and her hopes of someday expanding the shop’s artistic offerings.

“I know that the Pitbulls in flower crowns are super popular, but like, God, I won’t lie—I’m getting a little sick of doing the same few things over and over again. I did four separate Triquetras in one day last week,” Collins said while on her smoke break. “Honestly, if Cee paid any attention to Instagram, she would know that there are more trends out there for our clientele. My pipe dream is to add botanical illustrations of root vegetables to our roster. That sort of thing would absolutely crush with the University of Oregon crowd.”

Repeat client Mack Shanley expressed that some prospects, however, may feel out of place due to the limited catalog.

“I’ve been coming here a long time, and while I’ve seen plenty of regulars, there are some folks who show up and leave empty-handed,” Shanley said while getting a blackwork portrait of her dog Buffy on her shoulder. “It’s the bi women in particular who have a tough time. The flash books are so repetitive, you know? There are no watercolor Triforce tattoos or like, really long skinny swords. They all wind up going to the piercing shop down the street to get their septums done.”

Snyder was unable to be reached for further comment, as she was busy engaging in a Facebook comment war with a previous client who allegedly purchased their puppy from a breeder.