Claire Brown
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Romance is dead and millennials killed it. Gone are the days of excitement, spontaneity, and fidelity. Instead, the “me me…
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Rose Neptune
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MISSOULA, Mont. — Local stoner Zannah Meyers concluded that the weed she smoked this afternoon must be “extremely shitty,” after…
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Bobby D. Lux
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LOS GATOS, Calif. — Early yesterday morning, a sword-wielding Barack Obama interrupted a meeting of high-ranking Netflix executives while wearing…
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Doug Francisco
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ALLSTON, Mass. — Local musician Doug Robinson attempted to borrow a bassoon last night for his set with folk-punk octet…
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Patrick Coyne
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PALO ALTO — Business magnate and Tesla Inc. CEO Elon Musk has changed the name of his flagship company to…
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LOS ANGELES — Music aficionado and noted short person Heather Allred’s YouTube-watching experience was interrupted last night when a tall,…
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Hard Drive Staff
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I made a huge mistake. As of the time of that this article was published, our tweet has 1,982 likes.…
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KC Phillips
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Hey God. It’s me. Again. I know it’s been a while since we’ve talked but I need your help. Lately,…
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Jeremy Kaplowitz
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SEATTLE — Local grandfather Herbert Schumeister’s 93-year-long kill/death ratio shifted from 0:0 to 0:1 today, following his death from natural…
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Kevin Hufe
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WILMINGTON, Del. — Mickey Smith, the drummer of local rock band Forager Hunt, asked lead guitarist Charlie Palone yet again…
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