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Health-Conscious Punks Begin Vaping Glue

RICHMOND, Virg. — Citing it as a safer way to huff, many punks have turned to vaping their daily glue through digital devices. Glue vaporizers, also known as “eGlueBags,” have grown more and more popular in a once-nihilistic punk scene that is now looking to make healthier lifestyle choices.

Francis Hernandez, who owns and operates NowIWannaVapeSomeGlue.com, says vaping glue is a cleaner choice for health-conscious glue-sniffers. “Market research shows that all the kids just want to have something to do, and all the kids wanna sniff some glue. Most of the time they do it in bathroom stalls and outside shows during the opening bands. So we always have one of our eGlue experts at events to hand out samples and let all the kids know if you’re gonna sniff some, do it responsibly.”

“We’re thinking of sponsoring a tour,” he added.

The trend is still controversial and many health experts warn that vaping glue is just as harmful as analog glue sniffing, since the user is still putting man-made chemical adhesives in their body. The FDA issued a statement saying, “under no condition, regardless of the method of delivery, is it safe to ingest glue designed specifically for adhering objects.”

Despite objections from the medical world, many punks have taken to the eGlueBags.

“The experience is customizable. I have total control over how much glue I’m pulling in,” said Lucas Reynolds, a heavy glue user who recently made the switch. “I can eBag any of my favorite glues — Elmer’s White, Krazy, Industrial Subfloor Adhesive — it fucks me up with less waste.”

But all the kids are not found of the trend, with some noting that the old-school, analog way of huffing glue is a cultural tradition and will always be superior.

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“These tech-punks gotta go. Glue sniffing used to be dangerous. You used to huff glue because you were outside society, living life in the margins. But now it’s cool for hipsters and soccer moms,” Harry Needles, a crust punk standing outside a local show, said before shaking his head and taking a long drag of glue from an oily paper glue bag. “You can’t beat that sweet sweet sunshine in a bag, poppa bear.”

But for many glue vapers like Reynolds, it’s simply a question of dignity. “I no longer have to hide and huff like I used to. I can vape glue at my desk at work, in the car with my kids, or in crowded public areas and no one seems to mind.”

Article by James Folta @JamesFolta. Photo by Thor and Bunny Punk.